Not Reading

There will inevitably be those times when we simply do not have time to do even those things that are important for ourselves. It is certainly the sign of the times when in the past, people could not take care of their health because of the lack of knowledge or wealth. These days however, people fail to do so simply because they just don't have the time. Work seems to intrude on just about everything these days that I am sometimes tempted to think that overwork and working over time is one of the greatest social evils of our age more so than illegal substances and corruption. I shall save that rant for some other day. But it is in those times that I tend to find myself not reading something. Although I do read a lot in one day (submissions, letters, cause papers, emails and all the usual routine paperwork), when I say I do not read something I mean something different,. And something different means something either tangentially related to the law (judges biographies, the state of law in other jurisdictions, etc.) or something different altogether - psychology, economics, religion or good fiction (the classics or those that come highly recommended by my more literary friends). And newspapers by the way do not count because they are generally biased, does not provide much food for thought and the quality of writing in general leaves some style and ability to be desired.

I find that after about 2 weeks of not reading and being in the thick of work, I will slowly start to get uneasy about not reading something substantive or substantial or thought provoking. I need something new to keep my thoughts and mind churning over some other matters. If these needs are not met by the 3rd week that's when I start to think and feel that the neurons in my head that are not used begin to implode. Day by day, I become more and more convinced I'm becoming stupid. If this is not addressed in another 2 - 3 weeks (usually because of work and by now there would have been some pissed up parties and hang overs), that's when the fear digs deep. By now I will brook no dispute that I am marginally intelligent than an amoeba and paralysis in my reading and writing sets in. When I try to write, the fear freezes my hands and a little voice whispers in my ear that it's not good enough and never will be. If I try to now actually read something, I find that the words become heavy and no longer can I embrace each word no matter how short because my 'literary arms' have become weak. The words fall heavily and painfully on to my feet. The sentences stab right through my soft head and my eyes are like pools of water mirroring the emptiness of my head.

Thankfully I have never gotten further than that because if I had, I would have probably joined UMNO and started raping goats in the kampung or something with black polish on my body. But I try my best not to go without reading too long because the road back to actually read something substantive and meaningful is a long and painful one, letter by letter, word by word and sentence by sentence. But oh, to read and resonate, how wonderful a thing it is!

Of Selling Stuff

I often find myself declaring that I could not sell a heater to an eskimo to save my life, not so much because I want to lull the eskimo into a false sense of security before I hit him with my sales pitch, but because it is simply true. I used to dread those times of charity when instead of generously allowing me to make a fool of myself in the attempt to raise money, they gave me tickets to sell. Ugh. Seriously. Ask me to sing. Ask me to dance (take me to France... ... never mind). Ask me to do both in a bear suit. But for fuck's sake don't ask me to sell something. Once when I could afford all the tickets, I bought it out and then give them away. It was easier that way, plus it was a good way to get in touch with people. I mean, the first rule of freebies is that people respond to freebies. The second rule of freebies is that people RESPOND to freebies.*

I have not quite understood this inability of mine because if you asked me for a recommendation for a particular gadget i.e. laptop, cameras, etc. I would in all probability give a better sales pitch then if you paid me wages and had me sell those things. So it's not that I cannot make a sales pitch - I am able to understand and grasp the features of an object and their particular advantage, framing an object and its price, how to create a sales opening, etc because I have read books on how to sell things - but I am incredibly inhibited if paid to sell things. Very strange. Perhaps when I am not paid to give my recommendations it helps me feel independent and not feel particularly beholden to a particular manufacturer, so I feel less inhibited and more enthusiastic in my recommendations to someone. I think it also has to do with me as well - I don't like the idea that I am persuading or encouraging someone to buy something that they may not actually want or need simply to make a sale simply because I dislike others doing that to me. And do unto others as you would have others do unto you kind of thing. 

Although, modesty aside, I am pretty sure I could advise him on a tortious claim should the heater end up melting his igloo and spoiling his fine selection of rare caviar. 

*(Palahniuk, Fight Club, in case you were wondering)

The fading dreams - a true story

The turning point in the Malaysian's fight for political emancipation happened last year.

In a way, we must be thankful to the PM for allowing it to happened. Whether such allowance was a deliberate and calculated move, as opposed to a purely accidental one, will remain a mystery, at least for now. However, one fact is clear. Abdullah Ahmad's idea of democracy and his willingness to allow a freer expression of thoughts, whether in the form of speech or physical demonstration, was markedly different from that of Dr Mahathir's.

While Abdullah was more willing to allow a certain degree of latitude for expression of opposing opinions or views, Dr Mahathir would not allow such luxurious "western accessories of democracy" to be even thought of, let alone practised. Before I am accused of being an Abdulphile, I must add that Abdullah's soft approach towards freedom of speech in the initial days of his premiership was perhaps a conscious populist decision which was fueled by the euphoria of his historic landslide victory in the previous general election. I must also add that this "soft" approach has now vanished and replaced by a more "hardcore and traditional" approach, an approach which would make Dr Mahathir smile with pride.

Four years is not a long time in a political time scale. However, if we accept that time is a great healer, than we must also accept that time may also be a great destroyer. The biggest mistake Abdullah had made in his political career is to absolutely miss the significance of and the underlying current which precipitated his victory in the 2004 general election. For the record, he led the BN to a record 90.4% seats in the Parliament with a popular votes of 4.4 million representing 63.9% of the total votes. Out of that, UMNO garnered 2.4 million popular votes representing a staggering 36% of the total votes. The number of seats occupied by the BN increased by 51 from the previous election.

The achievement in the 2004 general election lulled Abdullah, and the BN, into a deep slumber, a slumber which they would ultimately be rudely awaken from, on March 8th this year. Abdullah failed to analise the reasons for his historic win. It was the first general election after Dr Mahathir had stepped down from the UMNO Presidency as well as Malaysia's Premiership. Dr Mahathir was not a likable person and leader. He personified totalitarianism and to describe his period of premiership as a period of totalitarian democracy would be flatteringly kind. If not due to the fact that that term is so widely used, I would even call the term an oxymoron-ic term. How could a democracy be a totalitarian? Or vice versa?

What Abdullah had failed to realise after the 2004 general election was the fact that his and his party's victory was due to the people's perception that he represented a new political order to Malaysia, a political order where Malaysians would finally achieve a certain degree of political emancipation, where opposing views would be respected, where opponents would be engaged in a civil manner, where tyranny would be banished, where the government would finally be accountable and responsible for their actions. Abdullah, in 2004, embodied the crystallisation of a Malaysian political dream, a Messiah of democracy, heaven sent. It was a result which belied the fact that Malaysians looked at him as a Mr Clean; Mr Religious and therefore Mr Upright, morally, religiously and universally; Mr Gentleman and Mr Right. His victory was not due to the acceptance, by the people, of the BN's policies. Nor was it a sign of Ketuanan Melayu. Or of the New Economics Policy or the continuation of the same. His victory lies in the fact that Malaysians finally felt unshackled from the egomaniacal grip and tyrannical antics of the previous Prime Ministers and his cohorts. That was the reasons for Abdullah's victory. He, his people and advisers together with his party FAILED to realise this.

He instead drowned in what he believed as a populist victory. So did his party. Almost as fast as his popularity had risen, he descended into at first, what was perceived as mediocrity, which later turned into a streak of self indulgences, self interest and self rule. Malaysians were disappointed and dejected as we realised that Abdullah, and his party, were slowly but very surely morphing into the anti-Christ of Malaysian politics. Visions of Dr Mahathir and his totalitarian approaches and behaviours loomed large. Allegations of corruptions, cronyism, arrogance, lack of transparency and accountability and sheer mediocrity surfaced. Once again, the ghosts of totalitarian revisited Malaysians. And we fought back.

The difference between the people's fight for democracy in Abdullah's post 2004 election and Dr Mahathir's 22 year rule is only one. Communication. The cyber world, and to a certain extent, and the advent in telecommunication services, provide a platform for Malaysians to share information and news in an effective, fast and cheap way. Ironically, it was Dr Mahathir's government which was responsible for these amenities.

The Lawyer's Walk for Justice in Putrajaya was, to me, a realisation by Malaysians that all of us must wake up from our deep political slumber and fight for our rights. It was to be a catalysts for people's power in Malaysia and for this, I salute all those who walked the short distance from the Palace of Justice to the PM's office that day. To paraphrase Neil Armstrong's famous words, it was a short distance for Malaysians, but a giant leap for Malaysia!

The BERSIH rally ensued. And then the HINDRAF rally. The battlegrounds were being drawn. The war fronts were being marked.

Here comes the second mistake made by Abdullah and his government. Probably misunderstanding the victory in the 2004 general election as a mandate for him and his government to govern in whatever manner he likes, his response to these events could have very well be taken from Dr Mahathir's lexicon of good governance. The Bar Council was labeled as behaving like the opposition parties, said Nazri Aziz. That of course presupposes that being an opposition is not good and that oppositions are also not a good thing. The BERSIH rally was met with water cannon and laced acidic sprays. It was also glossed over by the mainstream media which reported that it was only attended by 4000 people, probably mistaking the number of the policemen for participants! Nazri, in addition, screamed that the participants are "cowards"! Abdullah's spin doctor even had the temerity to say that people should not rally and that if "they" (the word of course signifies that the participants are people belonging to an unwanted group as opposed to "us", the good group) wanted changes, "they" should show it by voting for a government change in an election. That was a challenge to vote for a change in the election. They must be regretting that challenge now. The response to HINDRAF was even harder. The ISA was used to arrest and detain the leaders till this very day. Images of the infamous Operasi Lalang haunted the Malaysians. Here is the man, in whom Malaysians rested the hope of a political empowerment, at last showing his true colour, a colour which is not dissimilar to that of his predecessor's.

That fueled the people's anger. And on March 8th this year, a lesson was taught. But it is not a lesson learnt, as recent events would show.

SILLY QUESTION!

Syed Hamid Albar asked Anwar Ibrahim what he (Anwar) is afraid of by refusing to give his DNA samples to the police.

"Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim should not worry about giving his DNA samples if he were interested to seek the truth behind the sodomy allegations against him, said Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar.

“DNA does not lie. Give your sample and let the expert read it,” Syed Hamid said.

He said the PKR adviser could have given the sample at the hospital in the presence of his own doctor if he was afraid of fabrication." (NST - today - 17.7.2008)

Well my friend, Malaysiakini.com also today reported that despite being arrested by 10 masked men, bundled up into a highly tinted vehicle, questioned for 5 hours, detained overnight where he was made to sleep with common criminals on the cement floor despite knowing of his back condition, Anwar Ibrahim is still not given a copy of or even shown the police report made against him by the boy whose anus was famously alleged to have been poked by Anwar. Khairy Jamaluddin seems to know a thing or two about that particular report as he seems to know beforehand that the police wanted to have Anwar's DNA samples. But neither Anwar, the accused, nor any of his family member nor his legal team know anything about it.

May I ask why? Is there such a report in the first place? Or was it a report with blank spots for the police to fill in as the "very professional investigations" are carried out?

Syed Hamid Albar. You have caused the city dwellers to suffer with traffic jam this week. You have caused some students to miss their CLP examinations this week. All because you have intelligence report that there was going to be a demonstration in KL which intelligence report turned out to be several SMS which the police had read. And now you are asking Anwar what he is afraid of? May I ask you, in relation to the police report:

Am I a moron? Or are you?

Humen Against the Mistreatment concerning Sex and Attention to their Penises (HAMSAP)

I'm sick and tired of a particular species of non-governmental organizations (NGO) in Malaysia. Now I'm not putting them down or the good work that they do - helping oppressed and abused women, providing them shelter, fighting for their rights and all that. Great stuff. I'm all for it. 

But I'm sick of them because firstly there are so many of them: All Woman's Action Organization (AWAM), Asian-Pacific Resources and Research Centre for Women (ARROW), Murni Women's Development Foundation of Kelantan (Yayasan MURNI), National Council of Women's Organizations (NCWO), Sabah Women's Action Society (SAWO), Sarawak Federation of Women's Institutes (SFWI), Sisters in Islam (SIS), Tenaganita, Women's Aid Organization (WAO) and Women's Crises Centre (WCC). And if those organizations from civil society are not sufficient to cover women's issues, don't you worry, because the government has the National Council of Women's Organizations, the National Advisory Council on the Inter-Action of Women in Development, the National Clearinghouse on Women in Development (NCWS) which is under the Prime Minister's Department, and the Secretariat for Women's Affairs (HAWA) which is also under the Prime Minister's Department. 

In all those women's organizations, there's only one male organization I found - Pink Triangle. But membership there is a little more exclusive. It's for boys that like boys and/or like dressing as girls. So while I have nothing against homosexuality (diversity is the spice of life!) and have gotten over my homophobia (this happened when I realized that gay dudes are better traveled, well read, more sophisticated, usually possess a high level of aesthetics and great conversationalists than the common heterosexual male whose idea of conversation is scratching their balls and taking about their football team), it's not my cup of tit because I like my tits in pairs and if there's any cupping to be done, it had better be me. 

What annoys me about these women's group organizations is their complete lack of creativity in coming up with cool abbreviations for their movements. I mean check it out - SAWO, SFWI, WCC - sheehs. You think they just picked out the first letters of their chosen organization name and used those. Oh wait. They did. See what I mean about lack of creativity? And when they actually make an effort to come up with something they use potent penile imagery. I mean, let's take ARROW for example. Come on. Is there even a sliver of pubic hair of vaginal imagery with that word? I think we are all agreed that a long hard shaft capped with a protruding and pointed head strongly suggests the penis. A turgid one at that. 

And this brings me to my second point - it's all about women, women, women. And if it's not about that then it's about women needing this, women needing that, that men have penises and are bad, smelly and don't shave and how if they were into pussy they would all be licking and fingering themselves without us. There's nothing about the celebration of maleness, manhood or about men's place and role in society vis-a-vis women. It's gotten to the point where men don't even know how to be men anymore because we are too busy trying to please women. 

And if all that is not bad enough, it's not as if women reward us with this greater sensitivity, greater care or thoughtfulness with regular and frequent kinky, creative, wild and noisy sex, daily deep throat blow jobs the moment we step into our castles (that's right boys, don't forget that or who's the king), and indulge our threesome fantasies. If you get even one of them, thank your lucky cock mate, cos most of us aren't getting any of those. Better yet record it on your phone and then email it around to make all of us jealous that you're banging that hottie from Cosmopoint in seven different ways using all the furniture in the room as well as the walls. Dream fucking on mate. Since women are so empowered these days, they will just pat you on the head for your concern and sensitivity and let you go watch football with your friends. If you are lucky she will watch while you wank yourself off and not start flipping a magazine before you cum in your record time of 30 seconds (you fucking loser!). 

After a thorough and vigorous anecdotal survey conducted by the staff of Navel Gazing which are legion, I have also gathered that less and less women are putting out for men. One night stands are at an all time low. Casual sex is almost unheard of. The mention of the word orgy conjures imagery of greek men having a go at one another. And there is a strange notion growing amongst the female population that sex is something only men enjoy. If you know any women who think this, they are part of a dangerous anti-sex cult and a police report should be lodged against them. So that's right men. More of us are being fucked or sucked less. If you are a man and don't know this, you are one lucky bastard (although heads up dude, it's not gonna last forever!). 

I am resolved to change this sad and terrible state of affairs (pun intended). I am therefore forming the Humen Against the Mistreatment concerning Sex and Attention to their Penises (HAMSAP) to stand up against the wanton deprivation of sex going on to the male species (and more specifically, the heterosexual male) going on in this country (pun not intended). The goal of HAMSAP is to foster, promote and encourage a society and an environment where those in either a monogamous or open relationship are able to enjoy frequent, regular and enjoyable sex. That's right, the word 'enjoyable' is significant because where the female partner reads a magazine, yawns or ask the male partner to hurry up while engaging in sexual intercourse does not amount to sex or fucking by HAMSAP guidelines. It is to foster acceptance and the practise of one night stands, orgies and kinky, wild and noisy sex for the more adventurous males of society. In time, HAMSAP hopes to train men in the art of pleasuring women i.e. eating pussy and enjoying it (that's right, it's not just tweaking the nipples like a radio and slamming the salami), so that women will be more obliging with requests for sex.

If you are male and reading this - you know what this is about. This is the penile clarion call that you have been waiting for all your sex deprived life. If you have been wondering what your life has been about and what direction it should be taking - thank your cock that you have found this posting, because you have found it. Join HAMSAP and make this world a better place. Let's get people fucking, sucking, licking and blogging all about it in their salacious and tawdry details. Because sharing is caring, just like fucking is sharing. So join us today at hamsap2008@gmail.com by telling us why you want to join HAMSAP and how long you have been deprived of sex. If we have enough members, we can even launch a political party and really start talking some cock. We will be the premier political party setting penile policy. 

Join us. 

Show them that you have the balls to stand up for your cock. 

Be a satisfied man. 

Kon Low Mee Sg. Besi

For those of you dying for a fix some good old style Kon Low Mee (KLM), I found you all a joint yo. As you can see from the photo, this particular KLM hails from Sg. Besi where they have been a fixture for a long time now. It's very easy to miss this shop because they only open from 6:00 pm onwards right up until 1:00 am. They are open every day of the month although they are closed on one day of the month and are not at liberty to say when. It's as much of a secret as their KLM recipe. Don't try it. I attempted once and had to fight a vicious kung-fu battle and managed to barely escape with 2 large bowls of KLM in my gut. It was fortunate that I had mastered the wild pig snorting flying fist of oink before I went there, if not I was sure to have lost the honour battle with their resident sifu.

 

To get there is a bit of a pain because the road you have to be on is the one leading from KLCC towards the Sg. Besi highway/toll. So be aware of the rush hour for that area (hint: morning from 8-9am and evening from 6-8:30pm). The joint is just off Jalan Sg. Besi and next to a car audio shop. In fact, at around 6:00 pm when they first open you will even have trouble spotting it because the stall is inside. Your best bet is to look for a car audio shop next to the road with a lot of cars parked by the side of the road on your left. Once you sight it, I would not recommend parking by the road side because it is a very busy area even though you are very likely to see some impressive cars parked there waiting to have their ICE (In-Car Entertainment) system souped up (and not by the KLM soup that comes with it aight). 

Now the first thing I noticed right off the bat was that they are generous with the mee here (it may have well change since the last oil hike because I think the portions have shrunk - especially the chicken - the last time I was there). My first time I here I asked for the large portion and they sent me a fucking mountain. I could barely finish the damn mee and had long past finished off 2 portions of the chicken (I shall explain the significance of this next time if I remember) when I stuffed the last few strands in my mouth. So, even if you're quite hungry, I'd recommend you start with the medium (because the small size is really a waste of time and only good for supplementing an unfulfilling medium). My usual orders are there for display although I left out the damn soup!

As you can see from the pictures, the noodles are excellent and sit in a puddle of sauce when it comes, so you can get a real nice dark texture going with the noodles. After you mix it in good (with a bit of the soup too) that should conjure up something pretty close to them old style KLM those with the char siew. The chicken however tends to drive the KLM here because its flavour is more potent and holds its own against the noodles. I think it's because of those fried bits on the top that you see on the chicken. There's the soup which I don't really count on because it's not very consistent - nice some days and but rather salty on others; sort of like Malaysian politicians but thankfully its not full of shit. 

Thoughts on the Infiniteness of Learning

It is often said that to learn something is to find illumination in that particular area. It is also commonly observed that the only thing one can conclude from a great deal of learning is how little we can eventually learn, retain and apply. The area of the unknown shall always and forever be greater than the known areas. This applies with greater force to an individual as opposed to a society which tends to retain an institutional memory, though it must be admitted that it might not be very accurate or even understandable. Myths are demonstrative of this, but perhaps this as humans we tend to be literal and obvious creatures first and metaphorical ones once we reach a certain intellectual and spiritual plane. We forget that our human illuminations are personal and therefore tend to be singular and that the illumination we train upon an area lights it up as much as it shows how much of the area around it remains in a formidable darkness. These I take as trite propositions in life though I welcome anyone who can demonstrate the contrary evidentially instead of by mere argument, like Xeno's paradoxes. 

I am beginning to realize too that there is an infiniteness to any area of study if we really wished to know any and everything about something. Let's take something as simple as a paperclip. Do we know enough if we know how a paperclip is made? It is made from galvanized steel wire and twisted to an meaningful shape to hold a few sheets of paper together. Let's even say we know what kind of machine makes it. Do we know enough of it if we know what it is used for? It is used to hold paper together, but it can be stretched out and used to poke small holes (resetting your phone or PDA) or it can be used to in other creative ways. Do we know enough if we delve into its history, how it came about, the developments and patents that resulted in most of the standard paperclips around today? Do we know enough if we then know what steel is made of on an atomic level? Should we also not know how they interact at that level as well? And sometimes we also notice that these paperclips turn rusty - so should we also not know something about oxidization? Then if we know of the paperclips impact in terms productivity, economically, spiritually (hey, ya never know!) and in literature, can we be said to know everything about paperclips? 

But all these are a great deal of things to know about just a mere paperclip which we often do not give much thought of. I am starting to think that there is no end to it; that we can never know everything of even one thing. We as humans are ultimately creatures of great practicality - we need not understand everything about something before we are able to use it, even effectively and efficiently. I am certain many people that drive cars don't even know the science of what makes it move - but what does it matter if they know how to manipulate the vehicle to do as they intend? What added benefit or advantage does a person who knows exactly how a car works as opposed to someone who doesn't though we assume for examples sake they are both equally competent drivers with similar skill levels? 

The added benefit is not just in terms of a richer experience when one is undertaking the driving experience, but also the former driver knows how better to modify the vehicle such that his car would be better than that owned by latter driver. It may also perhaps make him a better driver because he knows the exact limitations and advantages of his car. 

What does all this amount to then? That we are born into ignorance. That we shall always be partially ignorant. The lesser one is ignorant of something, the greater the possibility of obtaining a competitive or some sort of advantage over someone more ignorant. To be ignorant is a temporary bliss paid in the long run with significant inferiority. But then to be knowledgeable these days also means a greater chance of being obsolete.