Censor Me A Titty

It is a curious thing that in Malaysia, the censors only have their scissors (and lord knows what else) out for sex. If there is even the remotest hint of sexual influence in a scene, and they of course are thoroughly qualified in detecting it though remaining steadfastedly free of its influence (unlike us inferior beings), it will be snipped, cut, blacked or ripped out. When I think of these censors, I imagine short, some thin, some fat, goatied men with long flowing jubah, some with spectacles, some with contacts, without underpants walking around holding a pair of those elegant long beaked steel ones in their right hands. Their nimble fingers eagerly spreading and shutting its arms. They would only use their index finger on their left hand to point at whatever it was they were pointing at before uttering, 'Apa tu?' (What's that'?). I haven't quite worked out what their introductory music score would be like yet, but I'm working on it. But strangely, they allow some of the most hideous violence to be visited upon a human being to be aired in a cavaliar and widespread manner in virtually all forms of popular media - video and computer games, music, movies, television, etc.

This is what I have always wondered: Why is it the policy of our censors to banish expressions of love (hardcore or very explicit softcore sex excepted) and promote expressions of hatred and conflict (playful slapping and light S&M and that means no leather masks excepted)? Maybe I'm nuts or something but I thought it would have been the other way around. There is already so much violence in our own lives with daily reports of snatch thefts, murders, rapes and corruption that the last thing we actually need is something glorifying it and routinely being used as a means of dispute resolution. So what is the basis of this policy of promoting violence?

And it is because of all this daily routine violence that we need to promote and encourage love and respect for one another. I am not saying that showing people kissing or making love does that but I think it does not detract from that policy. And for the love of God, can we please get real! Just watching this stuff doesn't serve as a massive dose of aphrodisiac that makes people want to go and hump each other like a bunch of rabbits. And what is the basis of this policy of erasing expressions of love?

The zeal with which these censors try to erase a kiss, even the faint expression of a nipple or a tasteful lovemaking scene sometimes makes me wonder whether they feared sex or hated sex more, or were just a bunch of seedy perverts all round. I mean, think about it - all those tits, ass, genitals and sex watched on a regular basis and then get edited out - where does it all go? Who watches the scissormen? What kind of people are these? Who are these men and women of such erudition and maturity that they can sit above us and tell us what we can or cannot watch? One day, a scandal is going to hit the fan (if it hasn't happened already) that some of these fellas make montages of the censored material for their own personal collections.

And the irony of all this is that they can censor all that but then they let through books by Harold Robbins, Sydney Sheldon, Eric Van Lustbader, Jackie Collins and lemme tell ya, some of the stuff that goes on in there - even I get a little shy explaining it to people (and on these matters, I am not one who is usually coy on the subject). The difference? Even though books are a visual medium, they are for some strange reason okay. Actually, I think it's because these people actually cannot read or their reading abilities are extremely limited (read: stupid and shallow). Their abilities appear to be only confined to visually obscene material, not literature. So forget to even ask these fellas to root out subversive ideas in philosopy laden books. One would probably need a machine powered drill to get it through these fellas (even then I'm not hopeful). Even when they wanted to do it, as they did with Karen Armstrong's 'Battle for God: Fundamentalism in Judaism, Christianity and Islam' in 2006, they buggered it up. For one, Ms. Armstrong is no hack. In fact, in 1999 she was honoured by the Islamic Centre of Southern California for 'promoting understanding among faiths.' Funnier is that the book had long been circulating in the country for some time now. That's like bolting the gate after the cows have bolted. Moo.

But their fascination with violence and their undeniable incompetence doesn't interest me as much as this institutional aversion to sex in its many manifestations. Why are governments, religions and civil society so afraid of it? Why are mature adults in groups afraid of something natural, pleasurable and, for those that want a family (and actually including those who do not want one), necessary? In this entire piece, I am referring only to consensual sex between two consenting people of sufficient maturity (for whichever applicable culture) and so would not include sex induced by force or violence.

I don't quite know but I think it has something to do with the uncertainty with which sex may affect someone though it usually tends to be positive. I mean 'positive' in the sense that it usually orientates one towards a sense of confidence (you are attractive enough) which then emboldens and a fleeting happiness and a general sense of contentment (blame it on the orgasm). When you are internally content and confident of yourself, you will be less easily persuaded by for instance, propaganda. So in one sense sex is subversive. And sex then places this seed of independence and creates an environment that would allow a need for greater freedom for one's self to be born. But this seed also needs to be fertilized and watered by carefully chosen intellectual fare and emotional nourishment to enable one to blossom into a mature and responsible citizen.

But that's just probably one of my theories about why people should be shagging more. And this by the way is all opined and written with no offence to the sanctity of virginity and any virgins reading this.

Anyway, should really stop thinking so much about this stuff.

Tut too too tee to.