a pedant's first paragraph

It was a dark and stormy night. It was so dark, the darkness of which you would have never seen. But of course, come to think about it, one could never see darkness. Lest it would not be dark. Or dark enough. And the darkness of this particular night is one of those. It was a type of darkness that one could not even see one's palm even if one holds it up an inch from one's eyes. Really dark. Pitch black dark. And there was nary a ray of light. None. Absolutely none. Not a single teeny weeny bit of light anywhere. The sky was black. No star. No moon. Hence the total darkness that night. I did a test. I closed my eyes and then I opened them. It was the same. The sight was absolutely totally the same as when my eyes were closed and when they were opened. I could not see anything. It was that dark. But to say the sight was the same would imply that there was a sight or an ability to see. The truth was there was no sight at all. I could not see anything. Because the night was so dark. Pitch black dark. And it was stormy too. Well, not really a storm. No. Not really. It was raining heavily. And the wind was blowing. Not the kind of wind which would be classified as a storm. Just strong wind. The kind which would make the tree branches sway left and right, up and down. Not the kind which would cause the lamp posts to fly or the trees to be uprooted though. It was a strong wind. But not a particularly strong wind as to qualify it to be a storm. Stormy it might be. But definitely not a storm. The rain was heavy, although it was not the kind of rain which would cause a flood in a minute or two. Heavy. But not overly heavy. It wasn't really a storm then. It was just a heavy rain with a not particularly strong wind. In other word, it was a mild storm. Very mild storm. Thunders could be heard of and on from afar. And although the thunders were not particularly loud, the darkness of the night made them sound more pronounced that they actually were. In actual fact, they were not even sufficient to jolt me out of my sleep, if I were asleep. That kind of thunder. Occasionally, there would be lightning bolts. Which would light up the nights as and when it happened. Well then, it wasn't really a dark and stormy night. It was a dark night, littered with lightning bolts - which would illuminate the night with lights - and stormy, in a not very stormy way, night.

I had to leave the place fast. I walked briskly. Well, I was almost running actually. Not a sprint but.....