Wednesday, June 20, 2007


I was one of those homophobes before that had an irrational discomfort (okaylah, 'fear' dammit) around homosexual men. Homosexual women were not an issue simply because I didn't know any of them. Anyway, I've never harboured any objections to girl and girl action. However, it was a little different with respect to homosexual men since I too was a man. For some strange reason, being a defensive hetrosexual man (not without the usual doubts and ambiguities at that fragile state in one's life about one's sexual orientation or sexuality), I misguidedly used to think a few things would result from my being in the company of homosexual men.

Firstly, I thought that as a result of their influences, I could somehow stumble or fall into homosexuality as one might fall into a manhole (somethings just can't be gender neutral! Those obssessive politically correct people can shove 'peoplehole' up their arsehole). The underlying thought here was that sexuality was a changeable as one's hair. It isn't and if you think about it, it's just plain silly. We could not change our sexual orientation even if we wanted to. No amount of hetrosexual intercourse inflicted upon a homosexual men for example would make him change. Just as no amount of homosexual intercourse would make me change my mind. Thankfully, my certitude requires no need for proof in the latter example. Although I respect their sexuality, I am unable to watch gay porn. The idea is that if you can't even watch it then you won't go as far and you are alright. Fingers crossed.

Secondly, and after 'curing' myself of homophobia and realizing how stupid it is, I, like most hetrosexually homophobic men, thought that homosexual men would want to fuck me simply because I turned up. After all, you man and I man equals homosexual intercourse. If only the logic of life were so simple there'd be hell of a lot more sex going on not only between the homosexuals but the heterosexuals as well. The truth is that usually homosexual men aren't going to look at you unless you got the package - looks especially. And, well I wasn't terribly good looking and probably that's why I didn't get chatted up as much then if I possessed an eight pack washboard abs, pulsating pectorals and a firm looking ass that looked good in tight jeans. So if you're heterosexual, don't worry, they wouldn't want you anyway... unless you were very good looking then they'll make a pass but that's about it. Thoughts of gangs of them invading your bed and holding you down while they violated your butt is an irrational thought produced by irrational fear.

Thirdly, I thought that I had little to say to the homosexual male because of our lack of commonality simply due to him liking to dip his shaft in a male bum as opposed to a female one or vagina. Which is pretty silly really. I have come to know a few homosexual men through some of my friends and I now find that for the most part they usually make better conversationalists then the average Malaysian male whose area of conversation is limited to chicks, dick (theirs), drinking and sport. They are often highly creative, well read and travelled, intelligent, sophisticated, funny and tend to be intensely bitchy which is great fun (meowr!).

Coming to this stage however was a process that was several years worth of experience, thinking and internalization of that experience and conclusions of my thoughts. I am happy to say that reason enabled me to break my way out of the homophobic rut I was in. And now that I have reached this position, I cannot help but think it quite irrational, unreasonable and downright cruel for general society (I'm speaking of Malaysia) to suppress this other kind of sexuality. I cannot imagine why a homosexual has to be ostracized, marginalized and persecuted simply because they prefer sticking their cock up a willing guys ass instead of a willing woman's one. And let's face facts, anal sex happens between heterosexual couples as well and there are some that even enjoy it. To take a more crude line of argument (which I quote from my friend), 'A hole is a hole.' Just because most of us like having sex with the opposite sex, cannot necessarily mean that if some people don't like that manner of sex, they should be excluded so mercilessly and completely. And how can this preference for particular sexual orifices have any kind of relation on whether one is a good person, or a capable person or an honest person?

Further, it is not as if homosexuality is some new kind of fad. The truth is that homosexuality has a long and distinguished history as well. The Greeks and Romans which were one of the most civilized ancient civilizations accepted it and allowed it. Homosexuality is also commonplace if you think about it. It goes on in the army, navy and wherever one only has the company of men. It happens in prisons, in school (my secondary school had a whole bunch of them and one of them even found himself when he played a lady in a play), in artsy-fartsy circles, in fashion, in retail. There are homosexual Asians, Europeans, Africans, etc. as there are Christians, Muslims (Irshad Manji's a lesbian Muslim), Buddhist, etc. There is no discrimination. Homosexuality I think is widespread and common as heterosexuality. The problem I think is that it suffers from the problem of being 'the Other' in terms of sexuality due to the hegemony of heterosexuality.

That sucks.

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