Malaysians Love the Dark Ages

I haven't been able to access the Internet for two whole days. At first I blamed my network service provider, who usually convince me that it's not their fault because they're trying their best to fix the situation and thank me for my patience and would I stop calling them thirty times a day to scream at them. Actually, the last part is made up. They would never ask me to stop calling them. They would just stop picking up the telephone. But I know that it isn't their fault. It's probably mine, karmic retribution for refusing to upgrade my handphone.

Initially I wanted to post about squat toilets, which is something I've always wanted to rant and rave about. But then this internet access issue plagued me over the weekend and I figured, hell, they belong to the same category anyway. I still find it pretty amazing that well into the 21st century, we're (I assume I'm not the only one who tears out my hair and curses the heavens when that error message comes on) still experiencing problems with bad connection etc. I'm not an unreasonable person. Really. So when I talk about broadband interruption I'm talking about maybe two or three whole days of ZERO access. I'm not talking about access being slow or sporadic. I mean - NOTHING. I'm paying for this damned thing monthly and I can access it maybe every other day, every other week. By the way it doesn't matter whether you smugly threaten them with termination of the account. They have a monopoly in the building where I live. Apparently all the other internet service providers do not provide their services there. I have no idea how all these work. It sounds like some kind of ISP Mafia to me. Bottom line is, there's nothing I can do for now. So over the weekend, in between trying to access the Internet in that pathetic way that a stray cat hopefully begs for food from an animal hater, I have acquired the skill of making fire from sticks and stones. Just in case.

Squat toilets. Oh yes. The ever-present sorry excuse for a 'toilet' in Malaysia (and other such delightful third world countries). I am shocked that one can even find them in KLCC. But of course the ones in KLCC are no ordinary squat 'toilets'. Oh no. I mean, it's KLCC we're talking okay. They must be a step above the rest.

And they are. The squat toilets, I mean. A step above the rest.

The squat toilets found on the concourse near Tower Records are actually on an elevated platform. Yep. As it is, I already hate using squat toilets because as much as I boast about women being able to multi-task better than men can, trying to do too many things at one time (most of which involve trying not to fall in) while whilst attempting to answer nature's call can be quite disconcerting. Now in addition to one's balancing act, there is an extra burden of climbing up the slippery platform without falling over first. I swear this is also some kind of vengeful karma on all my previous curses about squat toilets.

What I really don't understand is why the hell squat toilets exist in the first place? Please don't say hygiene. I will kill myself (and the person who says it) if hygiene is the reason for squat toilets to exist until today. If you've seen squat toilets, you'll KNOW that hygiene cannot possibly be the reason for them to exist. As far as I'm concerned, squat toilets should be banished, as we have all our backward practices (burying baby daughters alive, using DOS-based applications, being considerate).

But hey, I'm assuming logically (usually I'm wrong) that there are enough people who want squat toilets. Otherwise why do they exist? These are the same people who should be trying to access the Internet from my building and cooking their dinner with firewood whilst watching terrestrial television.