I apologise...

I know. I may have offended you. Although I have no clue why. Are you a moron? Or ultra sensitive? I thought I was just exercising my right by doing what I did. What is wrong with that? I mean, it is a symbol you know? It is a symbol of my virility. And as with any other man and his dog, it is within my right to flash it here and there. Even wave it. I mean, if I get excited, surely I have the right to do that, no? Why are you being so sensitive? Have I scared you in any way? It was so innocuous what. So harmless. Why would you be scared? I never intended to scare you what? Are you a pervert or something? I mean, who else would think like you did when I did that? Only perves would do that. You must be a perve la... I think so. You tell me. What is so wrong with me flashing it and waving it in public? Tell me la ..... I don't think there is anything wrong. That's why I did it a few times. And the people surrounding me clapped. My side kick had also done it. After me. And then they clapped some more. They were very impressed with how glistening it was. And the size and length of it all. Everybody was. In fact they all carried it for me. Such was the magnitude of it all. I was just showing how proud I was of it. As I said, it was a symbol of my virility. Why can't or shouldn't I do what I did? It was a private function some more. Ya la, it was shown live over the TV. But I did not ask them to show it live. That was their decision, not mine. I have no control over the media. But who would want to miss that kind of spectacle? You tell me.

But I am a good man. A good man with a good symbol of virility is sensitive to other people's feelings you know. I heard you did not like what I did. So I had some soul searching done. Although I did it thrice in 3 years, I searched my soul a full one a half month mind you. And after doing so, I realised that I may have offended you. I don't know whether you are or not. And if you did, I do not know why. You are probably a moron, a perve for taking what I did the wrong way, an ultra sensitive pre-menopausal woman/man/spinster/widower/divorcee/good-for-nothing self righteous Nazis or just plain difficult Neanderthals with half a pea brain! You have nothing better to do than to criticise me and my symbol of virility. In other words, you are an asshole! Anyway, I digress. Sorry.

As I was saying, there was nothing wrong in what I did. But if, just if, and that means in case la ..... just in case ..... or in the event that ..... okay ..... if, or in case or whatever, but this is hypothetical only you know, this is meant to be purely hypothetical, paham tak? Hypothetical, that's whay I say "if". Okay? So. If lah, in case lah, I had offended you by my action, which I did 3 times, and although I find nothing wrong in what I did, absolutely, and I still feel the same way now, I felt the same way when I did it, and I will feel the same way in the future, although it is like that, I am sorry okay? Okay? You okay with that? Don't be angry anymore okay? Stop sulking okay? Smile a bit. Gimme a pat on the shoulder or something. Read my lip. I am sorry. But I don't promise not to do it again you know. But hypothetically, if it is going to make you scared again, although I do not know why you should feel like that, and I think you are a moron/monkey/beruk/monyet hilang anak for feeling so, I might just not do it again la next time. If la. "IF "okay. You understand or not. "IF".

Now, if you could excuse me ...