Wednesday, April 9, 2008

You No Watch Christian Movie Mister!

The other day I was just browsing through the movies being sold at Speedy Video at Atria, Damansara Jaya and came across a biblical series of movies. I was particularly attracted to the Samson & Delilah movie because, as you can see from the picture, it was the movie that which showed the most skin on the cover. Samson has that saucy look as he stands bare chested and looks into the camera as if to say, I'm getting it so good and you're not; while Delilah whose shoulders are clearly exposed, and thus sexually provocative in the local repressed culture and clinging to his pectorals for dear life appears either about to or has just completed a rousing bout of mutual pleasuring with Samson. If the content was anything like the cover, I was game.

With that, I was about to pick up the VCD when suddenly what felt like an electric jolt coursed through my body and open a closer inspection of the label on the cover I understood why.

The VCD was for non-muslims only! It is no wonder I felt that jolt when I tried to pick it up. It was then that I was so thankful to either the Ministry of Information or whichever agency whose responsibility it was to watch movies and judiciously assign them these highly important stickers. Who knows what would have happened if I watched that movie without heeding that warning! I may have watched it and become a Christian even before the opening credits finish and be declared an apostate (even though Christians and Muslims are 'People of the Book' according to the Quran and find their source from the same Abrahamic tradition). I may have been a proselytizer before I finished the movie and converted any animals that sat next to me from animal or plan worship to singing hymns to Jesus (Yessah!). I may have been singing Hallelujah all gospel style at full blast when the ending movie credits role. I would have abandon my faith after 2 hours of potent visual Christian imagery.

We should all be so thankful that we have our other Muslim bretheren looking out for us and taking great care and using government resources to keep the ummah together. We need lots of protection because we are very vulnerable Muslims. The slightest whisper of other religions would result in our immediate and fanatical conversion to the new faith and we wouldn't want that cos like Islam rocks and like we sure go to heaven if we're Muslim no matter how awful we are. Don't ask me where I got that, some Uztad told me that 3 years ago while he was drunk and am sure he was and is right.

God Bless Malaysian Government is Making Muslims Many Many Happy!

1 comment:

art harun said...

You need Islamic vcds my friend. Just imagine, sitting on the sofa, Islamic beer in hand, watching Islamic vcd, all paid by your Islamic credit card, in a house financed by an Islamic loan...yea...ur very near heaven my friend...very near.
Now, where's my Islamic dictionary? Yah...found the word I was looking for.