What's the difference between politicians and women? Well, you can live without them! If you are facing a cobra and a politician, and you have a gun with one bullet, what should you do? Don't do anything. The cobra would bite the politician anyway!
Seriously, Dr Mahathir, the mother of all politicians, appeared to have thrown the last dice early this week by announcing that he was leaving the party, his life membership notwithstanding. Which brings me to a technical question. If he is (or was) a life member, how could he leave with him being still alive? Or for those of you ninkomps out there, let me put it another way. Read this slowly, real slowly. If he is (or was) a life member, which means he is (or was) a member for life, which also means as long as he is alive, he is a member, than, how could he leave the party unless he is not alive, or in other word, dead? Get it? Well I don't. I mean, I don't get the answer. I have googled "life membership" and I still don't get any answer. I had also searched "life membership" in Wikipedia and I am still non the wiser. A trip to howstuffswork.com had also yielded me with no stuff. So, I don't know. Go figure.
Than today, I read that daddy's boy, Mukhriz, had refused to leave the party. He however subscribed to daddy's position that Pak Lah should resign. Hmm...how ah? On one hand he support his father. On the other foot, he doesn't supports his father. Can ah? I mean, isn't that like, so lame. Sorry, let me repeat that question with more vigour. Isn't that like, so fucking lame? I thought he was daddy's biggest supporter, no? Or is it just about maintaining the balance ah? I mean, one fellow can now shout and scream outside the glass house while the other one fellow can throw pinggan mangkuk inside the glass house? Hmm...make sense. First, we were foisted with Mahathironomics. Now it is Mahatantrumism.
Mahathir Mohamad. What shall I write now? What does your name evoke? Well, let me say this. I see you now as a clown. A clown who has lost his place in this big and very entertaining circus. A has been. That is you, Mahathir Mohamad. The funny thing is this. You are now so fucking funny. You were not funny at all when you own the circus. In fact you were downright pathetic then. But now, after you had left the circus, you are freaking funny shit man. I fucking laugh at the very mention of your name. And when you speak, I just ROTFLMAO! Really.
So now what do you expect? Your own son is not accepting your call for members to leave the party. Are you now expecting 1 million UMNO members to leave UMNO? Fat chance mate. I think this time you have miscalculated mate. Have you not noticed that UMNO members had always come together when there is a threat, or perceived threat, from outside the party? I am disappointed if you, off all the political creatures, failed to notice that fact. I think you are going to lose this gamble joe.
Anyway, it does not escape many people that last week you made the headlines as well. The Royal Commission had implicated you in the Linggam scandal. Hmm...I put 2 and 2 together, and it sure doesn't come up with anything else but 4. Or is it just me having a fertile imagination huh?
So, if my postulation is correct, what is your next move? Let me guess. Cut your testicles? Naah...don't be silly okay. This is what you should do. First option. Get back into UMNO. Then run for UMNO Youth Deputy Chief with your son, Mukhriz, as the Chief. Why UMNO Youth you may ask. Well, UMNO Youth got keris mah...gagah la sikit like that. For Presidency, you can ask Sanusi Junid, your mate, to run. Tok Mat Rahmat (is he still alive ha?), can run for Deputy President. Something like that la.
Second option. Sue UMNO. Get it de-registered. Then form UMNO terBaru. Then you can get another life membership bearing number 001. Waddaya think? Awesome eh?
Third option. Go and mintak ampun to Anwar Ibrahim and masuk PKR. May be Anwar will form a new wing in PKR -just like Puteri UMNO in UMNO- for people like you. Perhaps it can be called Nenekanda PKR or something like that. And you can head it. Like tawdally cool man. Sorry. It should read, like tawdally kewl man. Ya. Like that.
Fourth option. Well, why don't you just shut up?